


Ineffable love

by Silver_Stream



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anal Sex, Apocalypse, Armageddon, Eventual Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oral Sex, Post-Apocalypse, Romantic Soulmates, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-10 15:02:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19907668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_Stream/pseuds/Silver_Stream
Summary: In a world where soulmates can see the their lovers emotions in color around them, how will Aziraphale handle not falling apart every time he sees Crowley. "Why God? What did I do to deserve this."Pre/post apocalypse. The story slightly follows along the canon story, but with a slight twist of want, hurt, and eventual love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a multi chapter fic, my phone isn't letting me change it currently so I have to wait until I can get to my computer sorry!!

"Crawley do you believe the rumors about soulmates?"

"What that you see some lovey dovey aura around you're supposed true love? Nah I think that's some joke someone made up to fool your lot to not jump into a relationship."

"Right… yes… of course you don't. How foolish of me."

"Why…?" Crawley looked over at Aziraphale one eyebrow raised trying to ignore the faint glow around him.

"Nothing… never mind." Aziraphale looked down at his feet trying to ignore the pain in his chest. How cruel of the heavens to make his soulmate a fallen angel.

*Aziraphale's pov*

Thousands of years had passed since I brought up the subject of soulmates. Crawley now went by Crowley, and during the many years we've had our own passings. Many times meeting for drinks or fine dining. All the while I tried keep the growing feelings of love pushed down. We didn't see each other as often as I would have liked, but maybe that was for the best. 

Any time I had skin contact with him my whole being shook. A simple brush of finger tips as we passed a wine bottle, the way his hand fit in mine when we shook upon agreements. Yes surely this was for the best. The all mighty wouldn't have made him my soulmate without reason. Perhaps it was a test of loyalty? After all I did give away my flaming sword to Adam. I can't help but sigh leaning back in my chair staring at the food in front of me. 

"Well that's rather odd, you haven't touched your food. Something got you down eh angel?"

I nearly fell out of my chair upon hearing his voice, sure enough standing beside me was Crowley wearing his smirk and ridiculous glasses. 

"Ah yes um.. just lost in a bit of thought is all." I turn to him smiling motioning for him to sit.  
Crowley sat across from me flagging the waitress down ordering himself a cup of coffee with a wink. I know he is just harmlessly throwing temptation at her, he's a demon it's what they do. I still couldn't help but feel jealous. 

"You alright angel? You seem… off? Headquarters giving you trouble again?"

"Hm? Oh no, even if they were I know how to handle all that. Spent enough time hearing rubbish you learn to let it slide."

"Yeah… So what brings you to this side of the country? More good deeds and what not?"

"Actually I'm in pursuit of a book. First edition, and surprisingly in great condition." I went off for a while immediately perked up by the chat about the book hoping crowley didn't notice my demeanor too much. As of late it's become increasingly difficult to keep these feelings down, so many times our paths have crossed over the millennia. It's become a habit to just sit hours upon hours idly chatting as if we were just normal humans. For a demon he is so easy to get along with. Certainly not like any other demons I've encountered through the years. 

*Crowley pov* 

The way Aziraphale becomes so animated when he is excited is not like anything I've ever experienced. Not even the thrill of a good temptation can get my blood rushing like this. His aura is always a light blue, almost the same color of his eyes. It floats around him like little bubbles. All those millennia ago when he asked me about the soulmates I felt awful about lying. But really what else could I do? He's an angel, and no matter how tempting it was to give into the smile I knew I had to keep my distance. I never could stay around long, for threat of falling more. Through the recent years we've bumped into each other more and more. It was so easy to fall into a rhythm with him. All those long nights of chatting. Cruel really, as if falling wasn't bad enough. Of course 'the all might one' had to spite me more. Maybe this was because the whole apple business. Really I don't see what's so wrong, she's the one who left it in the open.

"Crowley are you listening?" Aziraphale tilted his head and God why is he so cute? Really it's not fair! 

"Yeah yeah, book rare piece. Listen Angel can we ditch this place, and just spend our time drinking at your place? It's been a really long day."  
"Oh, but of course here let me just pay, and we can go."  
I idly wave my hand across the table conjuring a couple of pounds before motioning my head towards the door.

"Let's go."  
Aziraphale fussed about my tactics, but followed suit regardless. Really how can anyone not be tempted by my charm?

We spent hours just chatting casually sipping good old gin. Little did I know this might be the last time for a while we could casually talk without worry of Armageddon at hand.


	2. Chapter 2 meeting Warlock

Armageddon is in just eleven years, and here Crowley and I are drinking wine, and talking about the ocean. What a funny world it is. It's hard to imagine why the divine ruler would make such wonderful things on earth, just to have the angels and demons destroy it. To make matters worse, I think I'm falling more for Crowley. The way he talks about us stopping it, I can't help but envision a future of us together. It's been six thousand years after all, can't I dream? In a perfect world Crowley and I wouldn't be on opposing sides. But that's the kicker isn't it. He's a demon, and I'm an angel. Even if we are soulmates, it really wouldn't work out.  
I sighed downing yet another glass of wine, catching myself staring at Crowley. The color around him has never faded. Dark crimson floats softly around him in soft spirals.. The patterns moved like a sprouting garden of destructive beauty fascinating, drawing me in closer and closer as our time together passed.

"Angel are you alright?"  
Crowley's voice snapped me out of my thoughts causing me to blush as I realized I was leaning slightly.

"Yes, just thinking sorry."  
"Right.. I think I'm too drunk for this I'm going to sober up."

I nod doing the same, before I let my intrusive thoughts become actions. 

*Crowley pov*

He's staring at me with those beautiful blue eyes. I started rambling about dolphins of all things. Damn those eyes, so tempting. I want to just reach out and kiss him, instead I drink more.  
Yeah bad idea definitely didn't help. Oh satan why is he staring at me like that, and is he leaning forward…?  
I had to break this awkward air, if I didn't who knows what would happen. Get yourself together Crowley the apocalypse isn't going to stop itself. And if "the divine one" had her way he definitely wouldn't be able to have more nights like this.

"Angel are you alright?"  
Aziraphale jumps, and oh no is he blushing? Shit how can he be so tempting?! 

"Yes, just thinking sorry."  
"Right.. I think I'm too drunk for this I'm going to sober up."

Once sobered up it's easier to push aside those intrusive thoughts. Aziraphale, and I come to an agreement and I hurry off home.

"That was certainly too close… ugh why, why, why?! Of all things to happen over the six thousand years. Soulmate eh? Is this some kind of punishment for everything?! Huh!! And now this, oh of course the antichrist has to come into play now. No we couldn't just continue to keeping things at a distance." I sighed hitting my head on the steering wheel taking a moment to gather myself before proceeding inside for the night. I need to prepare for the next eleven years of my life. 

*Aziraphale POV the next day*  
I stared at myself in the mirror barely recognizing myself. "Hmm yes this should do nicely." Grabbing my hat I set off to go meet the parents of young Warlock the antichrist. 

After speaking with the parents I set out to the garden to start planting, and tending to everything. 

"Don't worry Mrs. Dowling I'm just going to take Warlock outside for a bit of sun."

"That voice…" I turn around looking shocked at Crowley. He.. ah she has taken to being a nanny I see. 

"Angel? What in hells name are you wearing?"  
"I could ask you the same Crowley, a dress?"

Crowley just shrugs setting down a moses basket. 

"I figure they would be more open to a female nanny."  
"Is that?" I walked over to look in the bedding to see a small baby staring at me.

"That's him.."  
"But… he doesn't look evil does he?"  
"Well of course angel he is just an infant. No one is born into sin, and evil. But he will grow into it. Well that is if we weren't here to balance things out right?"  
"Right of course. I should get back to the garden. Don't want his parents to think I'm anything but a gardener."

I went back to tending to things watching Crowley from a far. He would pick up the child feeding it, before lulling him to sleep with the oddest song ever.

The next few years played out like this, until Warlock was walking, and talking. I would do my best to teach him to love all things, and give them the love they needed. Crowley of course was doing his best to influence the child to a less loving way, and so far things seem to be balancing out. 

I often found it difficult to be so close to Crowley so much, when Warlock would come to visit the garden I would often see her follow suit. We kept our professional work manners, while occasionally meeting afterwards to have dinner. 

"Angel, have you ever wondered what it would be like to just be human?"  
"Whatever do you mean Crowley?"  
"Well think about it, we have been at this for six thousand years. Always back and forth you do good, and I do bad. Occasionally switching it up to be convenient. Then we meet up for dinner and drinks. I mean six thousand years, you would think there might be more to life than this?"  
"Hmm I do understand what you mean, but really I don't think we would make good humans. Sure acting like such is one thing, but to grow older and eventually pass on? I don't think that's the life for us."  
"No I suppose you're right." He bites his lip still thinking on the subject. 

We finished our dinner in silence, but I can feel Crowley's eyes watching me through those sunglasses. I never truly understood what was going on in his head. Some days he seemed so well dare I say, heavenly. 

I find myself caught up on the thought of what if. What if Crowley was still an angel, could we truly be together. If so would things be like this? I do genuinely enjoy our time together. Dinning, laughing, just enjoying each others company. Such a complex relationship. One would never figured to see a demon, and an angel drinking together. Perhaps if we survive this, if we managed to stop the end of the world things could be different...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried to make this chapter a bit longer. Hope y'all liked it, I debated on rewriting it. (As I often do) but I liked the ideas I put down after all. I also try my best to use british terms to be more fitting. (I'm American, but know a few terms so please forgive me if I mess up. I mean no offense I just try and write to location.) Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3 self doubt

*Aziraphale pov*

After dinner with Crowley we depart ways.   
"Until next time Angel."

Once I'm back home I make myself a large cup of tea in attempts to calm my nerves down. 

I know Crowley clearly doesn't feel the same way about me. Sure he cares about me, but it's not the same way. Even if we did, heaven knows I would be heavily reprimanded. It's one thing to have dinner with a demon, but to love one? I certainly would be casted into hellfire. Still…

I sigh grabbing a box from beside my desk unlocking it with, and old brass key. Inside contains years worth of letters that I've written to Crowley. Each one written a different way, address my feelings and what future we might be able to have if things were different. I trace my thumb over the wax seal knowing it will never be broken open. The words I've written will never been seen by anyone's eyes, but my own.

After taking a long drink of my tea I get to work on yet another letter.

"Crowley my dearest,  
I find it hard to put down in words my feelings. Every day I see you is like seeing the stars for the first time. The stars we both hung in the sky, with their brilliant light shining like diamonds among a black sea. My heart races when I know you're near, the warm scent of spice and earth follows you. How can one being be so perfect? 

Your arms look so welcoming my dearest. How I long for them to pull me in, and never let go. Even as things draw nearer to a possible end, I can't help but feel safe when I see you. 

What a truly cruel world it is my Crowley. Maybe if there is a life for us angels and demons after this, it will be gentle and sweet. A world where we are truly free to love, and be loved.

Until next time. Yours forever Aziraphale."

I kiss the letter before following my routine of sealing it up. It's become a habit when these thoughts intrude. They help me clear up, and keep pushing forward. 

"Right best be getting a move on Aziraphale, tomorrow is another day closer."

*Crowley pov*

Oh for hell's sake man get yourself together. The apocalypse is just a few years away, and here you are caught up on an angel. 

Sure we've been friends for six thousand years, and that damn soulmate thing never has faded; but you already know it wouldn't work. How many times has he worried about being caught with you? Clearly even if he knew you were his soulmate nothing would come of it. Enough of this fussing about with it. You're a demon after all, you're supposed to be dark and malevolent. 

Still how many times have I had to save him from being discorporated? He would never survive in a world without me eh? 

I toss back another glass of whiskey losing count of how much I've drank so far. 

I should tell him. Call him up, and just get it over with. Like ripping off a bandaid. Sure it will sting for the first couple years when he denies me, but we will work past it. Get this apocalypse thing squared away, and go back to seeing each other ever once in a while. Yeah that's the true problem, this whole working to influence the damn antichrist. 

I pick up my phone typing in Aziraphale number, my finger hovering over the call button. 

"AH I CAN'T!" I throw my phone somewhere across the room sitting down in my chair leaning back.

"I didn't mean to fall, I just.. hung out with the wrong lot." 

Sometimes in my drunken state I must have fell asleep. I woke up with my legs propped on the table, and a pain in my neck.   
This really needs to stop. I need to just focus on the antichrist business, and then things can go back to normal.

"Damn you Lucifer.. always messing things up for everyone." I stood up cracking every joint before sauntering into my room. I haphazardly tossing my clothes across the room, before snapping my finger letting my personal records of queen play loudly.   
"Uuughhh angel why…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this one seems a little short. Got a lot on my mind thanks to a con I have coming up. I'm going to try, and keep working on this on the weekends but con crunch is hitting me hard.   
> Thank you again for everyone for reading, I really hope you're enjoying this as much as me. Get ready for some heavy angst in the next couple chapters to come!


	4. Delay

I'm so sorry this story has currently been put on hold. I'm going back to college and things have just been super crazy lately. I really hope to get time to write (maybe when I'm on lunch break at work). So so sorry for the delay y'all!! I feel awful truly.

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter is slightly short sorry, chapters will become longer the closer I get to the plot.


End file.
